Sarah Palin!

Sarah Palin is the best choice for VP that John McCain could have possibly made! She will bring her experience as a mother into the whitehouse. If she can organize a household with five children she can definately run a country with ease. She has gained a ton of valuable foriegn policy experience by living in close proximity to Georgia for so long. It is obvious that she supports strong fammily values as she is being very supportive of her daughter. I am glad that she has stron godly convictions and believes the Iraq war to be a task from god. It’s good to see a Christian who acknowledges that Yahweh wants bloodshed and violence and death! I’m so glad that she thinks that the world is only 6000 years old. Her getting money for the bridge to nowhere and then not using it for the bridge to nowhere is the best thing that has ever happened to Alaska!

 

If you believe any of what I just wrote, if you were getting that tingly, “I agree” supportive sort of feeling, please, for the good of the nation, don’t vote. If you believe that Sarah Palin is anything other than a dangerous moron, please, don’t vote.

 

I don’t think anyone on earth is dumber than Sarah Palin, I hope that while she is searching for the whitehouse she finds ovarian cancer and dies.

I don’t care who you vote for, just so long as it isn’t McCain/Palin. McCain on his own is bad enough. I don’t want to see a senile old man and a christian extremist in control of the worlds largest nuclear arsenal. People who have imaginary friends who tell them that war is a good thing should be locked in an asylum, not nominated for VP.

Hiatus Over!

I had a job this summer so I was busy, now I’m in school so I’m not. I will be posting a ton about my summer experiences and my college experiences. Have fun people!

Taco Cabana Sucks and so do you if you disagree.

Yesterday I ate at Taco Cabana for lunch. I cannot describe how much it sucked but I am going to do my best to outline the top five reasons for why Taco Cabana sucks.

1. The atmosphere- Taco Cabana strikes me as one of those places that only douchey frat boys go before they get drunk and pretend to be working on leadership skills.

2. The food – I got enchiladas, they tasted like they were stuffed with sand and the queso was really waterey.

3 The price – I could have gotten good food with that money!

4. Loud bitches – There were some loud bitches – enough said.

5. The Salsa – I know I already covered food, but the salsa sucked so much that it requires special attention.

Return to Labryinth

About three days ago I went to a bookstore and wandered around, as I usually do, looking for something entertaining. Pretty frequently monkeys in store uniforms ran up to me and refused to accept that I was wandering around their store aimlessly looking for nothing in particular. The kept following me around and asking me if I needed assistance. I, being the anti-social hermit that I am, decided to start taking evasive measures to avoid the evil bookstore storm troopers and their lame recommendations for things they thought I would want to buy. In the process of evading the thought police of Barnes and Noble I accidentally walked into a display of mangas. Typically, I would let such a display crash to the floor and then I would stomp on it to make sure that the stupid Japanese cartoons were dead but this time something caught my eye, making me catch the falling display. I realized, in my twenty second glance at the falling display that there was a manga with a character on the front who looked EXACTLY like David Bowie, was wearing something black and probably made of leather and had a crystal ball in one hand. It was Jareth the goblin king! I quickly grabbed the manga (it made my fingers burn a little because I am allergic to manga) and saw that it was called Return to Labyrinth and was suppose to be the sequal to the movie. I then dashed to the cash register, having found something random, unexpected and cool and cranked out the $10 to buy it.

See, they’re practically mirror images of each other!!!

When I got home I cracked open the graphic novel. It is epically amazing. Basically, Toby (the baby from the movie in the 80’s) has grown up and is like 18. Throughout his entire life he has been receiving everything he has ever wished for from a mysterious source, usually at some obnoxious price that gets him in lots of trouble. For example, at the beginning of the book Toby is taking a math test and wishes there was some way he could pass. Suddenly a cheat sheet appears on his desk. He crumples it up and throws it in the trash and it reappears on his desk. He rips it into little pieces and it reappears taped on his desk. The whole time Jareth watches in owl form. Return to Labyrinth has amazing continuity from the movie, every character major, minor and extra reappears somewhere within the book. All of the things that were promised to happen in the Labyrinth did happen. For instance, Jareth (David Bowie) really has made Hoggle into the Prince of the Land of Stench (basically the ruler of the bog of eternal stench). Anyway, Toby follows a goblin who has stolen his homework into the labyrinth, he fights through the labyrinth, just like his sister Sarah did eighteen years earlier to get to the center of the labyrinth to go beyond the goblin city to the castle of the goblin king. Once he gets there, there is a big goblin party where Jareth announces that he will be replaced by his “heir” Toby. I read the whole manga in about thirty minutes, then I reread it, then I reread it again. I will probably buy the rest of the series too. I used to refer to Tokyopop as Tokyoturd, now I am conflicted. Sure they barf out loads of anime, but now one of their manga’s actually has a cool story.

Once again, I also really recommend Bowie’s music, he is iconic of the 1980’s.

Return to the Labryinth
The labyrinth movie
David Bowie mp3s

Incontrovertable proof that Russians are bad at everything

About a week ago I took my girlfriend to the new Indiana Jones movie. It was really cool. Jones survived at ground zero during a thermonuclear explosion, beat up a kung-fu zombie, telepathically talked to an alien’s skull and killed about a million Russian people. Also he has a son now, who doesn’t fit well into the time-line from the other movies who seems to have the superpower to get hit in the balls by every cactus in the jungle without being harmed. The Crystal Skull has exactly as many continuity issues as the other Indiana Jones movies. My favorite being that six Russians chased Jones into the jungle, he killed eleven and then eight were at the temple chasing Jones down to kill him. Another thing that made Crystal Skull reminiscent of the older movies was the horrible inaccuracy of the villains. Seriously, like 30 Russians with machine guns shot at Jones from about 5 feet away numerous times throughout the movie and he never got hit. Not only did he never get hit but he was never even close to getting hit.

Just to rain on your parade, Mack is a Communist and dies at the end of the movie.

Check out the Commie killing machine Jones yourself.

I Can Has Internet Money?!?

Amazon seems to think that it can tell me how to make internet money. I’m not sure if any of the books actually help or if “internet money” actually exists. Hopefully other people will have better luck making internet money than I have so far. These books promise they can make you an internet millionaire, I think the only person who has become a millionaire is the writer of the books =P

Still if you feel like taking a shot get your free internet money.

Narnia kicks ass.

The first Chronicles of Narnia movie was retarded, there I said it. The second one, Prince Caspian was amazing. The whole movie is basically a big war between the Narnians and the Telmarines. The plot was nonsensical and the acting was terrible at best. Little things which should have been slightly uncomfortable were fatal to Telamrine soldiers. For example these little mouse soldiers with 1 inch swords would like scratch soldiers on the feet. Soldiers who were wearing heavy steel armor and it immediately knocked them down and was usually fatal. Armor was apparently worthless throughout the movie. There was one part where a guy wearing plate mail was stabbed with a little dagger and it killed him. The whole premise for the movie is absurd. My date and I basically didn’t stop laughing throughout the entire movie. I think the absolute best part was when a big lion instructed some trees to “wake up”. The trees then transformed into WARTREES and began killing Telmarine soldiers like there was no tomorrow. Another thing I noticed about the movie was that all of the Telmarines were Spanish for some reason. They all looked Spanish and had accents and the soldiers were all dressed like conquistadors. The Telmarine king looked like Francisco Franco, but only if Fascists were to suddenly stop believing in shaves and haircuts. He even went so far as to kill anyone who opposed his will. In addition he had a bizarre Narnian racial clensing program where he had soldiers actively storming forests, arresting Narnians and killing them.

Hail the king of Narnia!

Take a trip to Narnia

Naruto pisses me off.

From what I’ve gathered, the show is about a poorly drawn ninja fighting other poorly drawn ninjas for an obscure reason. Also, the ninjas have magical powers or something. Naruto is one of those legendary things that sucks so much that it has actually managed to simultaneously suck every cock in the known universe at once. I have no idea why anybody likes the show. It has nothing to offer to anyone. What is amusing about Naruto is the Naruto fans, particularly the ones who are into cosplay. For those of you who don’t know, cosplay is when anime fans dress up like anime characters and go to anime conventions to sit around and talk about anime whilst watching anime. Cosplayers also get super into pretending to be the characters and get extra-special pissed off at anyone who thinks that cosplay is stupid.

Imagine how scary it could be to have these guys pissed off at you.
Naruto sucking at everything

Freeing My Inner Nerd Via Microcontrollers

My inner nerd is also my outer nerd, I just felt like rambling about something nerdy and entertaining, microcontrollers. Microcontroller are little chips that camp out in all things electrical. They manipulate circuits to make them of actual use. Right now in my room I have a BS2 microcontroller. I have to program it in assembler which is just freaking sweet. I got it and a really nice book about microcontrollers last Christmas. I am going to build some kickass robots now (well, later this week). Frioux contacted me today, he has an idea for a recycling robot which would just kind of separate plastic and paper into different bins to facilitate laziness. I don’t think it will be too hard to build, I’ll post pics in a later blog as things progress.

Microcontroller Resources

I know it seems that I am always trying to hock things at you, there is a simple explanation for this, I am. Hey, internet junkies need to eat too.

Spike Feresten and Paris Hilton

I’ve decided on a new blog format that I will follow at random intervals. One cool thing, one thing that sucks. soooooooooooo……..

COOL THING: Spike Feresten

Talk Show with Spike Feresten is the funniest thing currently on TV. The first time I saw Hollywood Douchebag I nearly vomited from laughing. Spike frequently states that his show is watched primarily by potheads who are awake at midnight and have nothing better to do than watch FOX. I think that to remedy this, his show should be extended to four hours every weekend. Talk show kicks massive ass, I hope to be on it one day but it probably won’t happen.

THING THAT SUCKS: Paris Hilton

Paris Hilton is not only a dumb jailbird, she’s also ugly. Look at her oddly shaped face and her banana nose and tell me different. In addition to being a dumb jailbird, she is also a dumb slut. The only thing Paris Hilton will be remembered for, other than being basically retarded and having skin the color of American Cheese will be A Night In Paris. Which I think is a bit twisted because she is not at all attractive, but then again there are those weird people who are into bestiality, maybe she falls into that category.

Here’s a clip from Hollywood Douchebag to mindlessly amuse you (don’t worry, it’s free).
Hollywood Douchebag

Here’s a link to the only thing Paris Hilton will ever be remembered for. If you buy it I make like a $2.50 profit =)
A Night in Paris